So Saturday morning at 3am I woke up and started vomiting. Between the hours of 3 and 6 I managed to lose 5 lbs by throwing up. I'm getting over it, feeling a lot better. But now I have a problem at night when I go to bed and have to work the next day I get this extreme fear that I'm going to wake up in the middle of the night and it's going to happen again. I think it's irrational, really. If I'm getting better I'm probably not going to suddenly get sick again. But I can't help it, I get so stressed about it that the indigestion comes back and I start to feel sick and worry about it, so I can't sleep. Here it is, 12:09 AM and I'm wide awake, full of anxiety worried that I am going to wake up and begin puking my guts out. What the hell do I do with this? I just have to focus on the positive. Tomorrow I start my management class at work, that's exciting. Tomorrow is Tuesday and I have Wednesday off. I go in late on Thursday. This weekend I don't have anything to do. Really, I'll be fine.
It felt really good to get that off my chest.
In other news. I thought I found a new job, but I really don't think it's right for me. And I'm taking the stand unless it's some knock out job that I am positive I will love, I'm not going to bother anymore. And I think I may go back to school and get a masters in occupational therapy. Really.
Although that just may be another failed lead. I'll never decide what to go to grad school for so I will continuously work jobs where I am out of place hoping that some day I will miraculously find an awesome job.
Blogging really relaxes me, I haven't given this link out to anyone so it's nice to just vent. And if someone I don't know happens to read it, I'm ok with that. I'm really not writing to anyone in particular. Just writing to relieve stress.
I didn't work out today because I was still feeling under the weather, and now my body is very very angry and repaying me with restlessness. I'm actually starting to get tired.. Good night!
No comments:
Post a Comment